I know it may feel like Groundhog Day, but summer is here and I thought it would be fitting if I shared some interesting books to read. Books that will personally help you develop during these times. These particular books changed my life and opened my eyes to a new world. They are classic and timeless and have some backstories as to how I found them.
I’ve always been interested in spirituality. As a child my parents didn’t have a strong spiritual foundation, we only attended Christian church when it was holiday season or a special family occasion. Religion never made sense to me, the pastor was boring and I’d fall asleep during service. My parents did most of it for show. The word church to me meant fall asleep for an hour. It just didn’t make any sense and when I would ask them questions about it they would tell me I was being disrespectful, or that they didn’t know, it is what it is.
As I was becoming a young adult (around 18 or 19) I started questioning everything. You see, I was born a disruptor, a curious cat, one that always questioned authority and marched to the beat of my own drum. The world never fully made sense to me and the parental figures that I had in my home were very impatient and had no answers to back up their belief systems. It was always, “that’s the way it is, so deal with it.”
I literally had to figure out everything on my own. By the time I finished high school, I had no idea how to apply for college, or what an SATs purpose was, so this were the cards I was dealt. Yes, it was that bad and yes, I did go to college and got my B.A. (it took me 7 years to do it but hey, we all learn on our own time). One day, I was looking through my mom’s mini library. It was a barrage of books she had but never read. I happened to find this book (I will never forget this) called, “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz. It was a ratty book. I took it to my room and when I started reading it something happened. It was like my body just awoke, I was jolted. The book was written in 1959. And it still made sense to me that day. I loved it so much I wanted to find Mr. Schwartz and hug him, write him a letter, but he was long dead by then. I was so elated that I kept that book with me everywhere I went.
I kept it close to me because it felt like the truth and made me feel safe. To give you a short version of it, it’s basically a book about how to master your subconscious mind. That was my very first experience with reading about the law of attraction before it was a thing. A spiritual seed was planted and despite my ups and downs in life, it was always fertilizing for me to be who I am today.
Now I’m not going to tell you that everything in my life magically came together after that book. I had to go thru it honey. I’ll be transparent with you, I had a stint at the Christian church (God bless it) after I had a bad (my first ever) trip on LSD. I believe I was about 20-21 years old and I scared myself so bad that I felt Jesus was the answer (praise Him). So, I learned a lot about Christianity on my own and went to church heavily because I needed something to set me straight. I was all over the place and had no support and this was a void filler I needed to feel somewhat grounded and with direction. I felt so compelled at one point in my life that I wanted to travel the world and spread the news about Jesus. I was even considering going to a Christian college in order to gain the words and wisdom to convert the world. I was hooked I wanted to preach. Well, that ended quick because the church I was going to at that time looked at me as if I was crazy. The pastor’s wife said, “honey, you can’t do that. You can’t preach the word to others and become a pastor, you are a woman. There are reasons behind this.” My disruptor self immediately said, “get out of this place ASAP.” And I did. Just as fast as I got in, I got out. I was not trying to hear her reasoning either. No questions asked, I just left. I’m not going to lie, I was sad and distraught, my safe space felt safe no more.